she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
