Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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