he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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