New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Are we still banned from the library?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
