Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
