i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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