one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
