all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
