first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
