i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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