i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize