Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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