I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
