i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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