oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My penis needs a shock collar
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
