Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
