Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
