we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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