Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
