kristin has been a bad kristin
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
