She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
