you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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