So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
