And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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