Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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