Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
