Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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