well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
