I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
