Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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