please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
this boner is exhausting
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Did you pee in the oven last night??
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
