i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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