a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize