this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
