you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
