Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
