Will you blow on my dice?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Farmville is her only friend.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
