Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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