Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
