my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
