So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
