normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we're making bets on your personal life
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize