I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
