How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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