I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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