drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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