But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
