we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize