I wish i was in the wii world.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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