I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize