Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize