I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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