I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
There are leaves in my underwear?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
