4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I look better un-naked...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
