JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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