btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
