So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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