Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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