Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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