I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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