Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
